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The Pain Bend
Contributed by
JJHESLIN
on
Wednesday, 9th February 2011 @ 04:18:07 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
the hardest part was seeing your pain, the pain id caused by being in pain, the pain caused from being insane, the kind of insane, that pushes you to the edge, where you look down..its a long way down from this horifying ledge..i made you a pledge, a promise a keeps sake..but it cant be kept as the price of sacrifice that needs to be made cannot be met..so is the debt to slit my skin and ooze the blood, the blood that symbolises my love, but i fear that the blood like my love will never stop so therefore never die or end so im stuck here..in this never ending bend
Copyright ©
JJHESLIN
... [
2011-02-09 16:18:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Pain Bend
(User Rating: 1 )
by The_Unknown on
Wednesday, 9th February 2011 @ 09:18:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I think that this is a really good poem,
But you could have made the stanzas/ lines better.
What I mean is, using the "enter key" between lines. Because it seems that its just a paragraph. I could be.wrong but.. Idk, that's just what it looks like to me. Unless that's the way you intended it to be read.
Either way, I enjoyed the poem. Thank you for sharing |
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Re: The Pain Bend
(User Rating: 1 )
by purplestary on
Thursday, 10th February 2011 @ 04:58:28 PM AEST
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| i like the poem..and the title really brought me in to read it. i do think it has potential to flow a little better, but it does flow pretty good now. just a thought of mine. sorry. great poem though, really. |
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