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haunted
Contributed by
DanielleMarie
on
Friday, 28th January 2011 @ 10:31:40 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
panic and sweat, tossing and turning
a haunting nightmare crying for my
mother. Just when I think someone
is coming to help me the beast grabs
me from behind I didn't see it coming.
He has me now and he wants to hurt
me. I wake up only to fall asleep with
the same terrible vision my heart is
sinking to my gut. It's always dark and
I always end up alone in a creepy house
deep in the neck of woods. I hear him
coming I swear to god it's like a horror
flick only I am living it out. I hold my breath
I count to ten and kiss myself goodbye.
Im always searching for safety running
for help but there is no one but the thump
of danger catching up from behind.
Copyright ©
DanielleMarie
... [
2011-01-28 22:31:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: haunted
(User Rating: 1 )
by isis1987 on
Saturday, 29th January 2011 @ 05:18:36 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I enjoyed this poem. More of a (very) short story. Somewhat like Edgar Allen Poe, and I actually saw Jason Vorhees as the beast. Might be because of my obsession with horror movies. ;) |
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Re: haunted
(User Rating: 1 )
by Xnoybis on
Sunday, 30th January 2011 @ 06:04:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This one lacks pacing (in my opinion). It needs better editing for full impact.
Seems "phoned in," really. |
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