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it isn't all a poem
Contributed by
ming
on
Monday, 24th January 2011 @ 12:13:08 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
just the words
I know
sometimes
like listening to my
id
whispering
through a
broken cell phone
so I burn a few
as my own
version
of signals
dissipating
now it is nothing
and neither am I
all your fancy
words
all my ashes.
Copyright ©
ming
... [
2011-01-24 12:13:08]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: it isn't all a poem
(User Rating: 1 )
by poeticjestix on
Monday, 24th January 2011 @ 01:25:49 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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the gaps speak as loud as the words.
stark and slightly haunting
well done! (in my humble, poorly educated opinion)
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Re: it isn't all a poem
(User Rating: 1 )
by Voyager on
Monday, 24th January 2011 @ 03:59:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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The poem resonates the subconscient realm of the ID which is made clear by the following lines:
"sometimes
like listening to my
id
whispering
through a
broken cell phone"
Especially like how you used the word 'broken cell phone' because images from the Subconscient Id generally do come in broken form or symbols which are all mashed up together and make no sense. They also come in gaps. I really liked how you expressed that in these lines. Well written. |
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Re: it isn't all a poem
(User Rating: 1 )
by Breezy on
Monday, 24th January 2011 @ 07:45:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Beautifully provocative. Especially those last few lines....
"all your fancy
words
all my ashes."
So immense. Fantastic post!
~ Breezy
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Re: it isn't all a poem
(User Rating: 1 )
by cashfan1 on
Tuesday, 25th January 2011 @ 03:42:16 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Well written. This is deep and possibly a little dark but brilliantly expressed. I love your writing very much. More please. |
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