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The last time i saw the sun
Contributed by
longago
on
Saturday, 22nd January 2011 @ 02:19:42 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Casting your brilliant shadow on an irrelevant wall it rose
Illuminating sense in the twisted madness of the paths we chose
As we watched it burn in those October skies
Your smile was warm but I saw winter in your eyes
So many times since then it rose and shone
And left us long dark nights whilst it was gone
We were great while we were in the light
But you were wrong and I was never right
I’ve caused you pain so many different times,
you found the summit was not worth the climb
The sun has set and with it, it took you
There are only stars now…., memories we knew
Copyright ©
longago
... [
2011-01-22 14:19:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The last time i saw the sun
(User Rating: 1 )
by poeticjestix on
Saturday, 22nd January 2011 @ 03:17:30 PM AEST
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| brilliant writing. Like the summit climb thing. Soon be spring! |
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Re: The last time i saw the sun
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniellemarie on
Sunday, 23rd January 2011 @ 11:46:56 PM AEST
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this is a great poem sad and true
-DanielleMarie- |
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Re: The last time i saw the sun
(User Rating: 1 )
by Breezy on
Monday, 24th January 2011 @ 08:13:33 PM AEST
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A wealth of pain lives in this, but that last line still hints
of a hope. Beautiful last line! But this one really struck me....
" But you were wrong and I was never right"
That line is huge! Wonderfully insightful. Amazing post!
~ Breezy
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Re: The last time i saw the sun
(User Rating: 1 )
by DrcGaimer on
Tuesday, 25th January 2011 @ 09:11:09 PM AEST
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Excellent! Moving and powerful! You have some great lines in this!
"Your smile was warm but I saw winter in your eyes"
"But you were wrong and I was never right"
"you found the summit was not worth the climb"
You schooled us today. |
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