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Re-entry
Contributed by
joelmuses
on
Sunday, 16th January 2011 @ 07:07:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
ambiguous
|
I took a cold walk in cold shoes. Stepping
lightly on padded air, as though my treads
would fall clean through clouds. And then--
a silent drop, my fingers clawing at cold sky.
The air is thin here. But I breathe! And
I fall. Weightless, seeing the heavens
for what they are: empty.
And my limbs beckon a thin
layer of ice. I claw harder but
it seems I do not burn brightly enough
to shake the weight.
Rigor is next. Contorted and fixed are
the world below and the body above
it grows, I fade
though i seem forward
the ground is rushing to meet me
embrace
Copyright ©
joelmuses
... [
2011-01-16 19:07:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Re-entry
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 16th January 2011 @ 08:14:58 PM AEST
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Awesome write. Very deep and powerful.
Blessings,
emy |
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Re: Re-entry
(User Rating: 1 )
by deusdeira on
Monday, 17th January 2011 @ 03:32:27 AM AEST
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Hmmmm. I enjoyed reading this poem. I read it several times. I don't know if you were just being literal, but I like how you talk about how your "treads would fall clean through the clouds." This could easily be a metaphor about uncertainty. Then you go on talking about clawing at a cold sky, which I see as an expression of helplessness and futility, as you fall.
And then you fade... waiting for the embrace of the ground. Also could be a metaphor.
I'm not sure if you meant this as a deep poem, but it is, and I love it. It is both literal and metaphorical :) Have you ever been sky diving? because this sounds a bit like that. haha |
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