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Early In the Mourning
Contributed by
Jonathon_J_Young
on
Thursday, 30th December 2010 @ 11:51:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Embedded by my sins I wake,
Another breath from which to make,
Rash conclusions to forsake,
Life itself with my mistake;
You could tell led to heartache.
I try so hard to hide the pain,
Nevertheless, it feels constrained.
This dark is so inviting; it’s where I’m meant to be.
Hellish thoughts of who I am and violent imagery;
Eradicates all of my soul and takes all my esprit.
Malevolent in my tendencies,
Open to atrocities,
Unnegated misery,
Rambunctious informalities;
Neglecting all that’s dear to me,
I need to be set free.
Now let me go and bring me death,
Gently kiss me till my last breath.
Copyright ©
Jonathon_J_Young
... [
2010-12-30 23:51:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Early In the Mourning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Aspirant on
Friday, 31st December 2010 @ 12:09:00 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Interesting. I feel a connection to parts of this poem, while others seem strange and foreign. A little troubling, really, but I enjoyed the read. |
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Re: Early In the Mourning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Voyager on
Friday, 31st December 2010 @ 12:39:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| very well written. The last two lines reverberate power to the entire poem. Nice flow as well. |
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Re: Early In the Mourning
(User Rating: 1 )
by cashfan1 on
Friday, 31st December 2010 @ 04:23:20 AM AEST
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| This is faintly disturbing but very well written. You have a nice way with words that seem to flow effortlessly off the page. Well done, look forward to more. |
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Re: Early In the Mourning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Darbi on
Monday, 10th January 2011 @ 07:21:17 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I agree with all of the comments above. Very powerful and precise. |
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