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Missing You
Contributed by
whitt
on
Thursday, 9th December 2010 @ 08:31:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
I love it when you have that crooked grin
Your smile strectches from nose to chin
I become weak when you say "hey"
My obsession increases with each day
Our love together was so curious
How we were secretly anxious
I miss the sensation of your lips
Your hands connected to my hips
Now i'm lost without you here
This dry eye of mine drips a tear
I cant find my way back to love
So I circle D, all of the above
This forsaken road im on is solitary
For I am a dull, voiceless canary
My dreams of you are fooling me
I make wishes, one, two, three
My rhymes of you will go on and on
As long as im standing here alone
Every night owl greets eleven eleven
Because it is their last exception
Would you repeat everything i lack
I'll listen since i need you back
My options are a few
But none are you
It's all i can do
Im down and i'm blue
My words are true
I miss you boo
Because i'm lost without you here
This dry eye of mine drips a tear
I cant find my way back to love
So I circle D, all of the above
This forsaken road im on is solitary
For I am a dull, voiceless canary
Copyright ©
whitt
... [
2010-12-09 20:31:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Missing You
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 9th December 2010 @ 08:41:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Another sad but great write.
Hang tuff.
blessings,
emy |
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Re: Missing You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Anbarean on
Thursday, 9th December 2010 @ 08:50:01 PM AEST
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Now i'm lost without you here
This dry eye of mine drips a tear
wow so deep thought in it. Well it is sad but you write it very well.
Takecare
Anbarean |
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Re: Missing You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Voyager on
Thursday, 9th December 2010 @ 10:29:46 PM AEST
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| The dichotomy of love and pain....well written........ |
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Re: Missing You
(User Rating: 1 )
by MiaPeterson on
Saturday, 11th December 2010 @ 04:57:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| This poem is gorgeous, but I think you should try ABAB rhymes instead of AABB rhymes, if you get what I'm saying. I'm not trying to say anything bad, it's okay like this too, but this is quite a mature poem and I believe that the ABAB rhyme would go better with it :) |
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Re: Missing You
(User Rating: 1 )
by pinkunicornoctober on
Thursday, 6th January 2011 @ 06:56:35 AM AEST
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BEAUTIFUL! I love your style! My favorite part is:
This forsaken road im on is solitary
For I am a dull, voiceless canary
GREAT JOB! I also am missing someone and feel alot like this. |
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