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Blacker
Contributed by
UNORTHODOX
on
Tuesday, 16th November 2010 @ 02:22:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Not even a candle can burn,
in a place like this;
where demons manhunt,
and oxygen can't breath,
where angels are buried alive,
and happiness never lived;
a place where darkness;
say's a constant prayer
The ice age was warmer,
than these dwelling grounds,
where deception bows down,
in the mirror,on it's knee's,
where kindness is ambushed;
one thousand different ways
and serenity is born to suffer
There are no other walls,
possessed as these;
the inner sanction for demise,
where morality bleeds,
where truth is unspoken and
hope has no meaning
in a place, where time stands still,
this heart, just grows blacker
Copyright ©
UNORTHODOX
... [
2010-11-16 14:22:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Blacker
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 16th November 2010 @ 10:04:27 PM AEST
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This is so sad but you wrote it well.
Hope things get better for you.
Huggs, blessings, prayer,
emy |
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Re: Blacker
(User Rating: 1 )
by Zeberdee on
Wednesday, 17th November 2010 @ 07:10:37 AM AEST
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| Truly enjoyed this poem, well written, great depth, and the ending truly made it all come together to create a greater meaning. Well done! |
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Re: Blacker
(User Rating: 1 )
by duff on
Wednesday, 17th November 2010 @ 12:38:46 PM AEST
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Each line contributes so much to the feel and the mood of the poem that it all works wonderfully well. Flooded with emotions this was another gripping read to latch onto. Fantastic write.
duff |
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Re: Blacker
(User Rating: 1 )
by ming on
Wednesday, 17th August 2011 @ 08:54:51 AM AEST
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Another awesome write! I have found my black heart turned blue as the ink we write with, with time. I hope yours does as well. ;)
ming |
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Re: Blacker
(User Rating: 1 )
by FlintHunter on
Wednesday, 14th September 2011 @ 12:45:08 PM AEST
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It is rare that I meet a person who sees as bleak a picture of This as I; well, I'll match your bleakness and raise you one possibility -- one which you might well hate: If there is a place like this where not even a candle can burn, then there must be a place where a candle CAN burn. I've heard that such a place lies somewhere in the woods, near a creek, perhaps in that woods a cottage -- with fireplace -- even embers -- and on the walls, sconces-full of candles -- some burning brightly, some not-so-brightly. But. Burning. And, sir, if you can be without candles then you must also be with them. Ah -- it will be a good test between you and me: who can be the blacker? the bleaker? But when do we wake up to the fact that that whence darkness thence light...
Do we want to know it?
Be that as it may, you tell your story as a fine story-teller. You speak. Your words, though appearing blacker Than -- belie another realm... and we know the forest-chapel is There...and that you have been in it... What?
--FlintHunter |
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Re: Blacker
(User Rating: 1 )
by desire on
Sunday, 12th August 2012 @ 03:04:53 PM AEST
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| nothing is as it seems these days, even in the house where we give praise, privacy is almost no more, the chip would be the big score. the deciever is everywhere and no where, but he leaves a clue one that he knows you wont pay attention to |
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