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A Vision Of Rain.
Contributed by
cashfan1
on
Friday, 5th November 2010 @ 05:37:39 AM in AEST
Topic:
NaturePoetry
|
The sky is wearing a worried frown,
Unnerved by the intensity of the gathering clouds.
Below, this kingdom of mountains, lakes and forests
Is hushed in expectation.
In the trees the crows are chattering,
A mocking premonition of the war to come.
In the east the sky has closed her eyes,
Squeezing them tight in the hope of redemption.
Then the moment comes and almost passes, almost.
And then the first micro spits of rain
Gather and cling to the mountain's solitude.
Then, with an explosion of anger,
The spits form in mid air and erupt through the emptiness,
Vast needles of ice plunging through eternity,
Until, with a spiteful tom cat hissing,
They land on remote roof tops, fields, hills and forests,
Hitting the lakes and shaking them
Into a rippling frenzy.
The meadows, already sodden, open wide jaws and swallow.
The sky's frown has widened
And in the trees the crows are stunned.
Copyright ©
cashfan1
... [
2010-11-05 05:37:39]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Vision Of Rain.
(User Rating: 1 )
by andrewjones12 on
Friday, 5th November 2010 @ 07:09:42 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
i lovely picture of such a gloomy idea. well written, and i liked you paying amedge to the crows:) i hope your feeling well dear friend, and all that is. awsome write, and i look forward to the light unkotting the clouds; )
blessing,
-andrew. |
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Re: A Vision Of Rain.
(User Rating: 1 )
by duff on
Friday, 5th November 2010 @ 11:47:25 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Stunning imagery you have used in this well written piece of poetry. I have always loved the rain and there is something magical and soothing about it's fall. Great lines!
duff |
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Re: A Vision Of Rain.
(User Rating: 1 )
by julesxo on
Friday, 5th November 2010 @ 12:42:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| fantastic use of personification and imagery in this. I love this poem, it made me feel like i was actually where this whole scene was taking place. |
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Re: A Vision Of Rain.
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 5th November 2010 @ 03:52:19 PM AEST
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Wow, friend, you just reach out and suck the reader right there with you as it's such a vivid picture even down to the cat.
Awesome.
smiles, blessings,
emy |
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Re: A Vision Of Rain.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Friday, 5th November 2010 @ 04:28:07 PM AEST
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|
Great imagery, really found it a pleasure to read and take in the scenes painted by the words you wrote.
Our earth can be so captivating when we take the trouble to really look at its majesty.
You've shown just how intoxicating it can be.
Steve |
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Re: A Vision Of Rain.
(User Rating: 1 )
by northernlights on
Saturday, 6th November 2010 @ 02:52:04 AM AEST
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| Amazing description and you as always the eyes of the reader esp love the line....in the east.......redemption |
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Re: A Vision Of Rain.
(User Rating: 1 )
by huwbeauty on
Saturday, 4th December 2010 @ 09:38:26 AM AEST
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| You really capture the feeling of the moment.This is one of the things I miss most when I've been away from Wales, the weather. |
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Re: A Vision Of Rain.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 21st January 2015 @ 09:10:46 PM AEST
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I love the way you take us through a progression of sorts, ending in what seems to be a crescendo.
The way you wrote this one line: --> Then the moment comes and almost passes, almost.
It adds so much feeling like, hey wait a minute here, and snags the reader into a ride upon the storm.
Very very nice.
Tim
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