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coming home
Contributed by
grimgirl
on
Wednesday, 6th October 2010 @ 06:52:37 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Cigarette smoke
Sharing a proposal’s joy
Cutting off the old
Cheering when locks of it fall to the floor
Searching for the lost at sea
Stopping to play dominoes
Blow a bubble
Catch it in your camera
Lipstick and yellow cars
Taking pictures of light through the floor
Staring at the tops of buildings through a clear elevator
Search again
Finding, then get my clashing coat off the rack
Freezing in a fancy dress
Someone there to take either arm
Keep me warm
Falling stars and milkshakes
Curled under leopard-print gag gifts
Burying my nose in a new friend’s old sweatshirt
Forgiveness disguised as teenage rebellion
grimgirl, PLEASE: To help keep this site INTERACTIVE, please read and comment on at least 3 poems for each one you submit.
Number of poems per author per 24 hours are limited depending on membership level and interactivity.
Copyright ©
grimgirl
... [
2010-10-06 18:52:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: coming home
(User Rating: 1 )
by waldenpond on
Wednesday, 6th October 2010 @ 10:27:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very descriptive! I enjoyed it. |
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Re: coming home
(User Rating: 1 )
by mk93 on
Thursday, 7th October 2010 @ 02:52:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i love it all but especially the last line |
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Re: coming home
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 7th October 2010 @ 05:14:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
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A very nice poem here, very well constructed and articulated. This line in particular stood out for me:
'Staring at the tops of buildings through a clear elevator'
Reminded me of the elevator up to the observation deck of the CN Tower.
-Phil |
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