|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Illuminating Future
Contributed by
Guyjular
on
Monday, 23rd August 2010 @ 09:59:32 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
The past begets restrain,
Holding back for no need to amend.
Broken and vulnerable inside,
When compassion we do extend.
Always by each others side,
Through endeavors not yet to comprehend.
Independent paths of inspired light,
Cannot be contained by those who defile.
Cornerstone of one another's faith,
Rests at the end of many a narrow mile.
The foundation before our paths meet,
Is undeniable strength against Baal's beguile.
Constricting dismay of what's ahead,
Displays passion amongst impure heart.
Unknown memories we will never forget,
Illuminating future with my counterpart.
Unable to comprehend endless possibilities,
When our journey we will embark.
Copyright ©
Guyjular
... [
2010-08-23 21:59:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Illuminating Future
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 23rd August 2010 @ 10:27:08 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| This is a really good poem. Keep writing |
|
|
Re: Illuminating Future
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniellemarie on
Monday, 23rd August 2010 @ 11:31:32 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Not bad at all
-DanielleMarie- |
|
|
Re: Illuminating Future
(User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on
Monday, 23rd August 2010 @ 11:57:16 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I really like this flow
well done. |
|
|
Re: Illuminating Future
(User Rating: 1 )
by LifeFadingAway on
Tuesday, 24th August 2010 @ 04:22:45 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I like the fact that it has a clear, yet interpretable story behind it. It feels real.
The only thing that bothers me is that each line starts with a capital letter, even if the last ends with a comma. When leaving out the capital letters where they don't belong, it'd be easier to read for others. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
