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Looking for: A Girl Listening to Butch Walker on a bench in the snow.
Contributed by
pat346
on
Friday, 6th August 2010 @ 09:51:14 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
there is no one out there
with their head down, lonely
longing for somebody like me
stuck between two concrete walls
realizing they can't trust in trust
she's alone, so she says
though she looks to the left
I can't see her but I can tell
from her voice.
Maybe a whisper, shhhh shut up
I'm alone, really I am
drunk and jotting this down
as I trip over her lies again
I want to be in love
last year I was, crying.
23 years and I'm gridlocked
clinging to memories of another
another liar and temptress
she made my smiles brighter than smiles
they could make a new word
and now I place my heart as bait
on the line, I cast and she catches
but she mangles and tears it to shreds
there may be such thing as love
but it certainly doesn't last.
and it's all in the eye of the beholder.
cause they only "say" that they love you back.
I'm choking on tears and drowning in beers.
once again i'm left alone here.
one new message: i'm sorry
I've heard that before.
I can't fathom the words.
Bloods spilling out of my mouth.
from biting my tounge.
Copyright ©
pat346
... [
2010-08-06 09:51:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Looking for: A Girl Listening to Butch Walker on a bench in the snow.
(User Rating: 1 )
by polaris773 on
Friday, 6th August 2010 @ 11:09:30 AM AEST
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| i wish i could say ive never been there but who hasnt solid write man |
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Re: Looking for: A Girl Listening to Butch Walker on a bench in the snow.
(User Rating: 1 )
by allforyou on
Friday, 6th August 2010 @ 12:27:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I love this part:
"I'm alone, really I am,
drunk and jotting this down,
as I trip over her lies again.
I want to be in love,
last year I was, crying."
I think this can bring everyone back to a time they were lied to in love,
drinking the pain away and wishing the wrongs endured never happened.
Great write. Great descriptions.
-Kara |
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Re: Looking for: A Girl Listening to Butch Walker on a bench in the snow.
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 6th August 2010 @ 02:44:28 PM AEST
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The quote above says it all.
sad but beautifully written. Good job.
Blessings,
emy |
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Re: Looking for: A Girl Listening to Butch Walker on a bench in the snow.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 6th August 2010 @ 03:20:38 PM AEST
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A fantastic title. Damn, I wish I could write titles like that. An amazing quote as well. I'm a great fan of Nietzsche, but I've never heard that quote before. it's so right and so apt. I could empathize with your cynicism and bitterness here, I could write a book on both of those. The best bit for me was the first stanza, seemed to sum up the whole feeling of loneliness and hopelessness perfectly.
-Phil |
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Re: Looking for: A Girl Listening to Butch Walker on a bench in the snow.
(User Rating: 1 )
by ming on
Friday, 6th August 2010 @ 06:46:02 PM AEST
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Interesting.
'Bloods spilling out of my mouth.
from biting my tounge'
ming |
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Re: Looking for: A Girl Listening to Butch Walker on a bench in the snow.
(User Rating: 1 )
by simsalabim on
Monday, 9th August 2010 @ 08:57:50 PM AEST
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| massive! |
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Re: Looking for: A Girl Listening to Butch Walker on a bench in the snow.
(User Rating: 1 )
by waldenpond on
Friday, 13th August 2010 @ 12:12:08 AM AEST
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| i really enjoyed this. great description. |
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Re: Looking for: A Girl Listening to Butch Walker on a bench in the snow.
(User Rating: 1 )
by natizzle on
Tuesday, 14th September 2010 @ 10:07:35 PM AEST
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| i thought it couldnt get much better than your other poem but this is amazing. really really beautifully written. |
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Re: Looking for: A Girl Listening to Butch Walker on a bench in the snow.
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 28th May 2014 @ 12:50:58 PM AEST
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this is valid poetry, the genuine article, it is
absolute, precise, tangible, so truly beautiful!!
hugs n' love nessa |
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