I don't know what I am doing failing flailing they say keep
trying say thank you it is hard we know but up is down and

more failure than success so there is hope but also sin
that gets in the way of what might happen if only someone else

someone who knew what to do anyone but only me with thousands
of witnesses and they are still saying good job and I see we are

in the same boat same storm how will we survive by grace
in weakness by love in poverty not by ourselves or alone trust

surrounded by failure and turmoil more people hate us now
than ever before I think this is it this is why and anything

else would be a waste of time still unsatisfied I am staying
up nights thinking praying hoping no one gets hurt gives up

misunderstands all that is happening is good is hard is making
me into something I've never been never aspired to be until now

I can see what I think they saw before now I wonder what they see
now I am succeeding and failing wondering which is which.