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Journal: Freewrite
Contributed by
NovemberMayhem
on
Monday, 2nd August 2010 @ 11:35:52 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
It falls
A frozen glory
From a cold and lifeless sky
A cloud covers the dirty
In a blanket of mock
Serenity
Lightly falls like hellfire
Frozen flame stings like a windwhip
Hovers above us
Amongst us, with pride
Settles, this pure
Sin, little white lies
This worshipped pain
In my neck
I believe they call it -
"Snow".
Copyright ©
NovemberMayhem
... [
2010-08-02 23:35:52]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Journal: Freewrite
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXInkInMyVeinsXx on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2010 @ 07:03:47 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Great poem :) There are some really good images in it. |
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Re: Journal: Freewrite
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2010 @ 11:24:49 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Great layout here, it contributes to the pace of the poem. The ending was a pleasant surprise as you could've been speaking about someone's tough exterior or struggles against authority. I like the fact I was kept guessing until the end. |
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Re: Journal: Freewrite
(User Rating: 1 )
by allforyou on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2010 @ 11:38:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This is great. I love the opening lines.
-Kara |
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Re: Journal: Freewrite
(User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2010 @ 11:45:36 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Excellent
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