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never changing
Contributed by
john23
on
Monday, 2nd August 2010 @ 07:55:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
The moon cascades on a buildings side
Myself, my shadow, my movements copied
The suns escape so soon to come
But yet I'm here still with both the same
Forever cast in a position stood still.
john23, PLEASE: To help keep this site INTERACTIVE, please read and comment on at least 3 poems for each one you submit.
Number of poems per author per 24 hours are limited depending on membership level and interactivity.
Copyright ©
john23
... [
2010-08-02 19:55:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: never changing
(User Rating: 1 )
by lesoleilnoire on
Monday, 2nd August 2010 @ 08:01:06 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Nicely written. I like your style. Everybody has their own way of writing. You might want to add more detail with imagery to paint a more vivid picture about the moon, but I like this poem how it is. Keep writing! Great job! |
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Re: never changing
(User Rating: 1 )
by allforyou on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2010 @ 12:29:12 PM AEST
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I like this. It's simple yet powerful.
-Kara |
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Re: never changing
(User Rating: 1 )
by NewGuy on
Thursday, 16th September 2010 @ 10:08:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| it seems like you ahve a very nice start, but it just feels like smething is missing. you ha a great style, a bit of a beef up would go a long ways in your works. :) |
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