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Beat the Odds
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Saturday, 24th July 2010 @ 10:26:45 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
A petty line-up of a thousand suspects
defiantly alone, this one's circumspect
In soul-crushing blows, the finger can direct
With puffs of angst, smouldered till vaporized
faulty organs- must dissect and analyze
Racing for first, don't accept a compromise
Devilry cripples that which cannot be named
those tricks up your sleeve keep shifting the blame
Stop picking the bones of the corpse that you maimed
A crash test dummy for explosive scenes
stranger to enemy; skip the inbetweens
Never again! Submerged by any means
On that night I believe I briefly died
against my will, I was dutifully revived
Much to your dismay I not only lived...
(I thrived).
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2010-07-24 10:26:45] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Beat the Odds
(User Rating: 1 ) by Applethoughtrotten on
Saturday, 24th July 2010 @ 11:47:03 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Good use of words. It sounds as if you are a bit like me and proud of the fact. Thank you for sharing...Apple |
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Re: Beat the Odds
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Sunday, 25th July 2010 @ 12:21:49 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Okay, so I'm reading this and as I told you in a communiqué, I've had influences that total the sum of me as a poet. Now I'm thinking you're one of them there influences.
I like the way you end this (something I wonder if I picked up from you but sorry I can't pinpoint it).
I also especially like this line:
those tricks up your sleeve keep shifting the blame
This conveys a conviction and a strength here. You tell 'em, Scorpness!
Take care,
Me |
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Re: Beat the Odds
(User Rating: 1 ) by cashfan1 on
Sunday, 25th July 2010 @ 03:02:20 AM AEST (User
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this is very strong, a deep and well expressed piece of writing. thanks for posting. |
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Re: Beat the Odds
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 10th May 2014 @ 01:52:34 PM AEST (User
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beautifully written, the last four lines my favorite,
such power here, such strong sense of self,
hugs n' love nessa
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Re: Beat the Odds
(User Rating: 1 ) by JamesStockdale on
Tuesday, 20th December 2016 @ 12:30:19 PM AEST (User
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I echo ladyfawns comments.
Last stanza was magnificent.....
James |
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