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Message In A Bottle

Contributed by cindy359 on Wednesday, 9th June 2010 @ 04:25:26 PM in AEST
Topic: FamilyPoems

This message in a bottle was brought to earth by heavens angles...
About a love of a woman and a man...
She loved him with all her heart....
He returned the love and gave her his heart....
The love they shared for one another....
Blessed them with 4 lovely children...
Their love still remained to grow....
It was now 12 years since her last born child....
With their love they were blessed with 3 more children....
She still loved and cared for everyone of us....
The have touched alot of hearts over the years.....
Soon their age was begining to show....
Married now for 50 years....
In his eyes she looks as pretty as the day she said "I do"....
With all that white hair, he looked as handsome as ever......
In only a few short years....
He lost his wife to a heart attack...
You could see the sadness in his eyes...
The love for her was greatly missed...
Three years later he was in a car addident....
Once again they were reunited...
Mom and Dad we will miss you......

Copyright © cindy359 ... [ 2010-06-09 16:25:26]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Message In A Bottle (User Rating: 1 )
by LizSucks on Wednesday, 9th June 2010 @ 08:49:17 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Just giving honest critique, like every writer deserves. Ending SOME lines with an ellipsis (...) can be fine, but ending EACH ONE of your lines with an ellipsis is just distracting.

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Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. ©

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