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Waterfall
Contributed by
inderal
on
Friday, 30th April 2010 @ 03:11:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I found my waterfall it's in my dream
I just fall and fall escape my misery
I found that i get caught and tangled to be freed
I said hello to God and he was nice to meet
My plate is full my legs are struggling
My time is tight it isn't right where do I begin?
I'm lost in thought i lost to god and I am thin
No sleep for me I'm weary and i'm unhinged.....
Copyright ©
inderal
... [
2010-04-30 15:11:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Waterfall
(User Rating: 1 )
by rayford94 on
Friday, 30th April 2010 @ 08:00:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This poem would be much better with punctuation... The lack of makes it hard to read without constant re reading. And I can't find any meter to the second stanza that was apparent in the first. |
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Re: Waterfall
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 1st May 2010 @ 08:05:26 AM AEST
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a Message)
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beautiful expression of feeling,
hugs n' love nessa |
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