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I died the day i met you
Contributed by
death_not_be_feared
on
Monday, 12th April 2010 @ 09:08:07 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
She ran, she ran.
Trees catching her hair.
Fingers pulling. Tear soaked locks.
He loved her once. And she believed him.
And the love swelled inside of her. Filled with dark balloons, waiting to burst;
pop.
Tear to her heart and followed by her lungs, lungs that once breathed you in.
That held ever particle that was you in that single dying breath.
Didnt you know whe died that night; didnt you hear that you serated every artery allowing her to live.
And in that last whirl of air, she gasped:
I died that day I met you;
I was born again when you kissed me;
I was freed when you loved me;
and i died when you left
Copyright ©
death_not_be_feared
... [
2010-04-12 21:08:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I died the day i met you
(User Rating: 1 )
by SlipyNarcis2112 on
Tuesday, 13th April 2010 @ 03:51:11 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Excellent! Grammatically, in needs a bit of work, but nothing that distracts from the very genuine feel of the poem. |
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Re: I died the day i met you
(User Rating: 1 )
by PreciousKitten on
Tuesday, 13th April 2010 @ 11:12:12 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| i love it. this is awesome. this is somewhat powerfull enough to get my attention from point A to point B. keep on writing. |
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