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Everything Is All Right
Contributed by
Xnoybis
on
Sunday, 11th April 2010 @ 05:20:14 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Everything is golden
Everything is right
Yes, I see our paths
Our future is bright
Everything is clear
Everything is trite
Yes, I see our wraths
Our future is Blight
Everything
is all right.
Copyright ©
Xnoybis
... [
2010-04-11 05:20:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Everything Is All Right
(User Rating: 1 )
by laststarontheleft on
Sunday, 11th April 2010 @ 06:57:17 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Very interesting I must say!
One wonders whether after the second verse, if everything really is alright?!!
Maybe a little festering of the 'same old, same old' is of comforting stability? I really couldn't tell you yet.... hmmm....
Now you've got me in a quandry!
Star x x x |
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Re: Everything Is All Right
(User Rating: 1 )
by SlipyNarcis2112 on
Sunday, 11th April 2010 @ 04:00:25 PM AEST
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| I suppose if ambiguity was the result you were aiming for, it's a job well done. Work on the rhythm a bit more with the rearrangement or, just exuviate a few words. Either way, nicely done. |
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Re: Everything Is All Right
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ambivalence on
Monday, 12th April 2010 @ 12:14:00 PM AEST
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i think with the good and even bad events,
the current state of life is still bearable.
And some people would beg to differ,
saying life is unbearable.
Cant have too much of anything no?
I like this piece becuz of the irony involved.
It's short, simple, but still says a lot, great!
take care
-K.Z. |
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