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While the tune plays ''Hold On''
Contributed by
thistle_and_fern
on
Friday, 26th March 2010 @ 02:08:20 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Thinking of all the words we shared,
Knowing inside how much we cared
Broken dreams are scattered and torn
Hurts inside are now reborn
While the tune softly plays
"Hold on."
Nothing is left I know thats true
Too late to say I love you
Goodbye just seems so insincere
As I write this verse trying to hide the tears
While the tune softly plays
"Hold On".
One last phone call broke the spell,
I could hear in your voice, I could really tell,
You hate me so, I can feel it inside
You may try to deny it but why hide it
While the tune softly plays
"Hold On".
Nothing left between you and me
I wont bother you, Ill set you free,
No reason to talk, no reason to try
The time has come to say goodbye.
While the tune softly plays
"Hold On".
thistle_and_fern, PLEASE: To help keep this site INTERACTIVE, please read and comment on at least 3 poems for each one you submit.
Copyright ©
thistle_and_fern
... [
2010-03-26 02:08:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: While the tune plays ''Hold On''
(User Rating: 1 )
by northernlights on
Friday, 26th March 2010 @ 04:48:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Beautiful and anguished write, very expressive in the feelings you are going through, love the use of the repeated line Hold on serves to emphasise the quandary of the situation,then the conclusion the time has come to say goodbye, feel for you in this. |
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Re: While the tune plays ''Hold On''
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daylynn_Van_Wyk on
Friday, 26th March 2010 @ 11:37:45 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Great write, i also listen to music when i write, it jus putz u in a different state of mind, like a journey which helps you find true emotion and transfers it onto paper. i really enjoyed reading this, thanx 4 sharing.
Daylynn |
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Re: While the tune plays ''Hold On''
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fuzzy on
Saturday, 27th March 2010 @ 03:01:16 AM AEST
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very well written, and Beautifully written.
i also can relate to this.
Take care
Fuzzy
One last phone call broke the spell,
I could hear in your voice, I could really tell,
You hate me so, I can feel it inside
You may try to deny it but why hide it
While the tune softly plays
"Hold On".
Nothing left between you and me
I wont bother you, Ill set you free,
No reason to talk, no reason to try
The time has come to say goodbye.
While the tune softly plays
"Hold On".
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Re: While the tune plays ''Hold On''
(User Rating: 1 )
by chrisdavid on
Saturday, 27th March 2010 @ 03:52:51 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is an excellent write as per usual from yourself. I tend to write most of my poems to the tune of certain songs, it seems to help me create a rhythm. I haven't heard the song, are these your words to this tune? |
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Re: While the tune plays ''Hold On''
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 28th March 2010 @ 06:24:43 AM AEST
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a Message)
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ouch. I know this pain intimately. And you have done well in capturing it. Michael Bublé has a way of ripping the heart to shreads with his velvet voice, when he sings something sombre. And you've taken the inspiration his music breathes and set it to the anguish of heart break. This is bubbling over with emotion and tugs extremely at the heart. Well done.
Seléne ~
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Re: While the tune plays ''Hold On''
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 29th March 2010 @ 08:43:40 PM AEST
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A provoking write stirring past feelings that some may not want to remember but when i do it is a reminder of the strength we can obtain from the hurt we endure from that person we love or used to feel for. The cold tone of voice after the damage has been inflicted rings hollow with words forced to face the awkward silence in between. Your words conveyed in this piece to perfection. Well done and well written
take care
duff |
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Re: While the tune plays ''Hold On''
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Friday, 9th April 2010 @ 02:58:41 PM AEST
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This really tugs at the hearstrings, you can feel the emotion bite right through to your inner core.
Such intensity in the way you have written this, it's hard for anyone to remain unmoved......if so they clearly have no soul left to speak of !!
Great work
Steve |
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