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Lost
Contributed by
Inchiostro
on
Wednesday, 10th March 2010 @ 05:20:11 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
What are you?
I am the Moon
Lonely I spend the nights
Drowning in my sorrow
What are you?
I am the pine
In a field of flowers
I stand alone
Forever waiting
What are you?
I am the lover
Barefoot and frigid
My hope is gone
What are you?
I am the tear
Brushed away
Sweet and small I fall to the floor
Lost and forgotten
What are you?
I am the hate
Cling to me
I will keep you warm through this
Endless winter
What are you?
I am the love
I will hold you
cry on my shoulder
And remember
Who are you?
I am me
Drowning in my sorrow
Forever waiting
My hope is gone
Lost and forgotten
In this endless winter
And I will always remember the days you told me you loved me
Copyright ©
Inchiostro
... [
2010-03-10 17:20:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lost
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 10th March 2010 @ 06:32:32 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I love the poetry in this. It is completely captivating. There is something equally breathtaking and heartbreaking about the contradictory affirmations in each verse. Though If I may, I would like to lend one suggestion to this and that is, I would lose the questions at the beginning of each verse. It sways with more power when the conviction of thought is not an answer to a question, but a controlled affirmation of being. Gorgeous writing, though either way. Excellent post.
Seléne ~
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Re: Lost
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mars on
Wednesday, 10th March 2010 @ 06:39:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Loved the ending. Marvelous work. Like the question and answer structure, as well as the images you formed. Very nice. |
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Re: Lost
(User Rating: 1 )
by JakerBaker88 on
Saturday, 13th March 2010 @ 04:53:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This poem pulled at my heartstrings. I can definately relate to this. Simply wonderful. As for the title, maybe " Question and Answer?" Just a thought. Take care. |
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Re: Lost
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fuzzy on
Sunday, 14th March 2010 @ 03:26:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Excellent write.
Take care
Fuzzy
Who are you?
I am me
Drowning in my sorrow
Forever waiting
My hope is gone
Lost and forgotten
In this endless winter
And I will always remember the days you told me you loved me
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Re: Lost
(User Rating: 1 )
by Harsh on
Monday, 15th March 2010 @ 01:35:41 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Interesting write.
Keep up the good work Brandon.
TC |
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