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Mind Games
Contributed by
desolantdreamer
on
Sunday, 7th March 2010 @ 11:54:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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forbidden want and forbidden need
a broken bond still frowned upon
but the things you do and the things you say
leave me wondering if you feel the same
but in the end I know it's true
you're a mental terrorist
an emotional sadist
my mind, my heart, my soul
just toys for you to play with
acting innocent and feigning sweetness
I see it in that sickeningly beautiful smile
crooked with deceit
and your eyes shine with mischief
such cruel beauty
am I a masochist?
falling for someone so perfectly malevolent
it's sinful, these feelings towards you
and I can't tell if you're laughing at them
or returning them
lately all you say I question
everything out of your mouth I search in your eyes, your tone
for hints of laughter, of a joke only you are aware of
it's so painfully sweet
the false hope you embed in my soul
with the shred of dignity I have left I should walk away
forget this torture
but in the end I'm not strong enough
your games are too addicting
because in my heart I wish more than anything
it was more than just a game to you
that the sweet, confusing, tormenting words
were secretly truths
you win.
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Copyright ©
desolantdreamer
... [
2010-03-07 23:54:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Mind Games
(User Rating: 1 )
by Inchiostro on
Monday, 8th March 2010 @ 12:18:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I really like the opening, but i think it might be more powerful if you break it up into stanzas.
It would make it easier to digest each segment rather then having the reader feel like they must intake the whole thing at once.
But the imagery you paint is very powerful, i know i have personally been in those kinds of situations and it is HELLISH.
These is just my own personal opinion do with it as you will.
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Re: Mind Games
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 8th March 2010 @ 01:01:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I love a lot of the descriptive terms you use in this, like mental terrorist, emotional sadist, and perfectly malevolent.
This is a very potent write and wow can I relate to it. I know some much like the one you describe.
Nicely done and keep up the good work.
Thanks,
Tim
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Re: Mind Games
(User Rating: 1 )
by The_Phantom on
Monday, 8th March 2010 @ 07:15:59 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Powerful, it drew me in and never let go, an awsome read, thanks for sharing.
The Phantom |
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