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Behind the waterfall

Contributed by funmi on Wednesday, 20th January 2010 @ 10:05:43 AM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry



Standing behind the waterfall
I could feel the air around me
breezing through my flesh
almost tearing me apart
The weather was too cold
to wait for love, or friends or hapiness
Searching or a blanket, or a coat,
my heart is almost getting cold
The water falls on me till i am soaking wet,
i change my clothes but i still get wet
Filled with insecurities, i search for an umbrella
but someday lightning will destroy it
You can still find mebehind the water fall
You can hide behind a waterfall but
you cant hid behind a fallin water











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Copyright © funmi ... [ 2010-01-20 10:05:43]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Behind the waterfall (User Rating: 1 )
by Prism on Wednesday, 20th January 2010 @ 10:22:09 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Kind of inconsistant with the imagery. Line 3
is about a breeze but in line 4 its tearing you
apart? Since when are breezes that
strong? Why are you looking for a blanket
behind a water fall? Happiness is
misspelled too. Theres little to no
puncuation either, poem or not you still need
to follow grammar rules.




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