|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
Behind the waterfall
Contributed by
funmi
on
Wednesday, 20th January 2010 @ 10:05:43 AM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
Standing behind the waterfall
I could feel the air around me
breezing through my flesh
almost tearing me apart
The weather was too cold
to wait for love, or friends or hapiness
Searching or a blanket, or a coat,
my heart is almost getting cold
The water falls on me till i am soaking wet,
i change my clothes but i still get wet
Filled with insecurities, i search for an umbrella
but someday lightning will destroy it
You can still find mebehind the water fall
You can hide behind a waterfall but
you cant hid behind a fallin water
funmi, PLEASE: To help keep this site INTERACTIVE, please read and comment on at least 3 poems for each one you submit.
Number of poems per author per 24 hours are limited depending on membership level and interactivity.
Copyright ©
funmi
... [
2010-01-20 10:05:43] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Behind the waterfall
(User Rating: 1 ) by Prism on
Wednesday, 20th January 2010 @ 10:22:09 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Kind of inconsistant with the imagery. Line 3
is about a breeze but in line 4 its tearing you
apart? Since when are breezes that
strong? Why are you looking for a blanket
behind a water fall? Happiness is
misspelled too. Theres little to no
puncuation either, poem or not you still need
to follow grammar rules. |
|
|
|