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                                                        Standby                                                        
                                                    
  
                                                
                                                    Contributed by 
                                                        satanssecret1369                                                    
                                                    on
                                                    Thursday, 7th January 2010 @ 08:48:30 PM                                                     in AEST
                                                    
                                                
                                                 Topic: 
                                                    oops                                                
                                             | 
                                         
                                        
                                            
                                                
                                                    
 
  
                                                    I am not broken. 
Just on standby, 
Waiting for a reason-- 
Proof that there will be something 
More than this constant nothing. 
 
I am not angry. 
Merely confused, 
As my mind festers with 
These doubts and insecurities 
That transpose 
Into inadequacy. 
 
Left to hurt in silence, 
You need to walk away. 
 
I am not mean. 
Driven only by a will 
That wills me to see this through, 
My frustrations overflow 
Until they fall on you. 
My attempt's in vain, 
As you glare me down, 
Smile and laugh, 
Then turn away. 
 
I am not crazy. 
Only looking for an answer-- 
Reasons why I should stop this. 
Desperately searching 
For a resolution 
And the truth 
As to why this failed. 
 
Time and time you'd plead with me, 
But you could never seem to take the lead, 
Leaving me with nothing more 
Than less than what I had before. 
 
I am not weak. 
To live alone as I have 
Is an assignment to bear 
With strength. 
You have not been there. 
You have not helped. 
Only thrown out more 'trash' 
That I would have liked to keep, 
But for you, 
I cleared these shelves 
To set up your shrine. 
 
Now you cry and say that I'm to blame. 
You know nothing of my will. 
 
I am not arrogant. 
I know only that I am not pleased 
With the unfolding of this trial. 
You are no prosecutor, 
And I should not have to defend 
What you so eagerly resurrected. 
 
I am not selfish. 
Simply finding nothing 
To keep me bound to this ride, 
Where high speeds and slopes 
Have made my stomach drop. 
The vomit on your shirt 
Should never 
Have been mine to bear. 
 
I am not happy. 
Despaired, 
For your desires 
Leave me 
Alone, 
With nothing. 
Every sacrifice overlooked; 
Every cry--yet unheard-- 
Is left to echo, 
Until it fades to silence, 
Where you have left me waiting. 
 
There was never any reason 
For you to persist to tell this lie, 
Insisting that I tell the truth 
When the deception wasn't mine. 
 
And no--I am not broken. 
Just burning out on standby.                                                
 
 
  Copyright © 
                                                    satanssecret1369                                                
                                                ... [
                                                2010-01-07 20:48:30] (Date/Time posted on
                                                site)
 
 
  
                                                
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    
                                                    
                                                        
                                                    
                                                
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