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What Lies Beneath
Contributed by
laststarontheleft
on
Sunday, 27th December 2009 @ 04:08:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
What Lies beneath
This incandescent mist
A passionate embrace
An intrinsical tryst
Upon soft blades of grass
His drops of dew swell
Creating their prism
Enrapt where she fell
Overcome by communion
She started to weep
So entranced by her beauty
He kissed her to sleep
Copyright ©
laststarontheleft
... [
2009-12-27 16:08:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: What Lies Beneath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 27th December 2009 @ 04:33:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This seems to have so many layers to it. I think it could be interpreted in different ways. I must admit I am not sure I completely understand why she is weeping. Are they happy tears or are they sad? Whatever be the case, it is beautifully written. There was such a softness and sensuality to it while also subtly suggestive.
What? Did you expect me to just say wow?  Well, I can't because it really deserves several resounding wows!
Take care and thank you for a lovely read.
Tim
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Re: What Lies Beneath
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadwriter on
Sunday, 27th December 2009 @ 06:56:56 PM AEST
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I agree with Tim, this is a fantastic piece that can hold many different meanings, but beautifully written with a gentleness.
Great post!
Deadwriter
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Re: What Lies Beneath
(User Rating: 1 )
by lesoleilnoire on
Sunday, 27th December 2009 @ 09:02:50 PM AEST
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Your writing is pure art here. The language is astounding and picturesque. The flow hypnotic. I am mesmerized by this piece.
Heidi |
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Re: What Lies Beneath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fuzzy on
Monday, 28th December 2009 @ 12:58:02 AM AEST
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well all i can say is ,i agree with all that has been said.
very well written.
Take care
Fuzzy |
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Re: What Lies Beneath
(User Rating: 1 )
by RuMPleStiLTSkiN on
Thursday, 31st December 2009 @ 07:15:55 AM AEST
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i Like this one alot .. i like your style ..
i'm sorry i can't criticize for i'm not much experienced .. |
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Re: What Lies Beneath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 31st December 2009 @ 10:02:11 PM AEST
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oh my dear, this is so softly beautiful and sweet. There is a delicate nature to this that makes one want to seek repose within the soft folds of each word. Wonderfully comforting.
Have a fantastic New Year!
Seléne ~ |
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Re: What Lies Beneath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 2nd January 2010 @ 12:23:58 PM AEST
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The whole time I read this
I saw this glow of white getting brigther
and more intensewith each letter
maybe like a time zone torn open
then it was gone,truly mesmerizing write
-D.Truth |
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Re: What Lies Beneath
(User Rating: 1 )
by spud on
Tuesday, 5th January 2010 @ 03:15:11 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Hi,
Three short verses that have captured the
essence of gentle passion.
Well done! Well written!
Tommy
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