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self-portrait. . .
Contributed by
elle
on
Friday, 20th November 2009 @ 07:57:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I wish you'd quit speaking
in third person
I don't do that to you
unplaster that smile
there's no one here but us
& we
are all alone. . .
beady eyes, lizard lips
. . . & to think. . . I let you. . . kiss my breath
with those. . .
I am ashamed of the idea of substance
wanting
always
to be ephemeral
delicate descendant
where being is translated into intimacy
. . . for one fleeting moment
to be whole
I, no. . .
I know. . .
I know. . . your wings are clipped
& there's a demi mole hiding
beneath the trickling demulcent plasma
. . . if you could just visit more often
stay a little longer
bring your plastic wand?
maybe we could mend
in that poets' chamber
we spoke of. . .
that
poor barren idyllic
balancing on courtesy
we spoke of. . .
perception
but it was all preconceived
fragrant & ideal
sweet like sugar-cane
as it changes form
sweet. . .
& sickly. . . if you have too much
the pale glow passes from your eyes. . .
Copyright ©
elle
... [
2009-11-20 19:57:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: self-portrait. . .
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Saturday, 21st November 2009 @ 03:48:37 AM AEST
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a Message)
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powerful stuff and a wonderful display of poetic form. I wish I could say I was beyond such self recrimination, but no.
Spike
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Re: self-portrait. . .
(User Rating: 1 )
by spud on
Saturday, 21st November 2009 @ 04:48:31 AM AEST
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A great write, Elle! I'm sure you're not everything
that you portray in this poem - your writing says
'not!'
Tommy
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Re: self-portrait. . .
(User Rating: 1 )
by ming on
Saturday, 21st November 2009 @ 08:30:12 PM AEST
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I AM JELOUS! LOL! Another winner Elle my dear. I shall read this one many times over as I love its candance. (meter; metre; measure; beat) Espically these lines;
I, no. . .
I know. . .
I know. . . your wings are clipped
& there's a demi mole hiding
beneath the trickling demulcent plasma
. . . if you could just visit more often
stay a little longer
bring your plastic wand?
maybe we could mend
in that poets' chamber
we spoke of. . .
that
poor barren idyllic
Love love love your work,
ming :) |
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Re: self-portrait. . .
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 3rd December 2009 @ 07:42:22 AM AEST
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oh elle, my dear sweet poet. This is incredible! My favourite of yours
thus far. I love how it reads like a person to person conversation,
(those we have with ourselves are the deepest and most revealing
no?). I find myself in between your lines, especially stanza 4.
Why is it that more often than not we lay our sadness under
a microscope but place the gift that is us, on a dusty shelf?
There is a definite gleam to you that is a wonder and a joy,
sweets.
Exceptional writing!
~ Breezy
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