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Charlaton
Contributed by
christinalwk
on
Friday, 6th November 2009 @ 01:19:30 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
It's when you've always been the one who doesnt need anyone.
Children, always reaching out to the family.
It's when those tasked with being there, fail to fulfill.
Callous, not needing anyone, except in the cold nights.
A self made tradition, of self preservation.
Ever giving of the body and mind to those who have none.
Raising spikes against those who have more, intent regardless.
Gifted with a plain yet captivating charm.
Easily, audaciously, harmfully, flirting.
An itricate web with many fell flies.
Outwardly strong, fierce, beautiful.
Victim to the deceit of the self.
Knowing the charade cannot go on.
"One will save me, someday."
Daily, continuing a self deprecating cycle.
Mindlesssly picking the next victim.
Pre-occupied mind, body playing the game.
A new sensation, electric touch, forcing it back.
Not like the others, silently demanding attention.
Of prince like quality, there is none.
The aura of a god is missing.
Confused, the trickster sees no reason.
"Why, oh why?" comes the anguished cry.
Defenses up, throwing out hurdles.
The best known techniques used, everyone else would have left.
Yet used and weary, the charlaton looks up, a lord remains.
With quiet princelike quality, a godlike aura surrounding.
He comes down to hold her.
A child again, exhausted and exposed, collapsing into him.
"Will you leave me? Now that you have won?"
Hoping for fortune, but holding no hope to be gifted with it.
Reassuring arms grasping material, as if to hold forever.
"Never."
Copyright ©
christinalwk
... [
2009-11-06 01:19:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Charlaton
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Friday, 6th November 2009 @ 01:27:24 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is an interesting write.
Heady comes to mind, depth.
Overall I liked it, except for a few words and phrases that seemed a bit out of place or maybe type O's??
I will watch for more of your work.
Michelle |
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Re: Charlaton
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alexa_Bachtel on
Friday, 6th November 2009 @ 04:42:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Cool, good work.
Alexa. |
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Re: Charlaton
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 6th November 2009 @ 02:17:03 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Lots of interesting images in this. I especially liked:
"Raising spikes against those who have more"
and
Defenses up, throwing out hurdles.
but the piece is so run together it's difficult to tell where one idea ends and the next begins.
Without that flow, it becomes kind of a jumble. Try breaking it up into stanzas. That alone would make it much more readable.
One more thing. The correct spelling is charlatan. Great word, BTW.
Good write. |
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