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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	22-November 10:48:37 AEST

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What happened

Contributed by closp0215 on Sunday, 1st November 2009 @ 01:04:28 PM in AEST
Topic: LovePoetry

I say I love you, you turn your back. I hug you, you push away. I lean in for a kiss, you leave me like a fool. You say you love me, I feel betrayed. You hug me, it doesn’t feel right. What happened to us?

Copyright Â© closp0215 ... [ 2009-11-01 13:04:28]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: What happened (User Rating: 1 )
by razorbladekisses on Sunday, 1st November 2009 @ 01:41:36 PM AEST
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I like it. It's sad. And simple.
I think you should move it to more lines, though. Instead of all on one.
Overall, great job(:
-RBkisses.

Re: What happened (User Rating: 1 )
by Ambivalence on Monday, 2nd November 2009 @ 11:57:37 AM AEST
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second thoughts possibly? maybe the fire just needs to be rekindled again... this was a good concise write

take care

-K.Z.

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