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My 1st Poem
Contributed by
mrsolodolo
on
Saturday, 3rd October 2009 @ 04:57:08 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
Is it insanity that keeps me by myself
or is it this cold world and everyone else
i wish for a cure, but there's none I'm sure
I'm just a fish chasing after the devil's lure
going farther and farther away from the light,
til' even the dimmest light seems bright
i struggle with my selfishness
and a constant feeling of helplessness
i struggle alone, and yes i cry
but i wipe the tears from my eye
i call out but no one seems to listen
wonder if when I'm gone they'll say "damn i miss him"
I'm tormented with dreams that keep me awake
ironically ill b asleep at my wake
though i may die tomorrow at noon
or some other time i hope not so soon
ill die with my head held high
and maybe, just maybe, god will let me fly....
Copyright ©
mrsolodolo
... [
2009-10-03 04:57:08]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My 1st Poem
(User Rating: 1 )
by longhaircg on
Saturday, 3rd October 2009 @ 08:00:50 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I can understand this loneliness, what a wonderful poem, keep writing,
sp |
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Re: My 1st Poem
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mars on
Saturday, 3rd October 2009 @ 12:26:00 PM AEST
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| Not bad at all. Keep in mind that it doesn't have to rhyme. |
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Re: My 1st Poem
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ambivalence on
Tuesday, 6th October 2009 @ 11:28:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
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an honest to-the-point poem, nice for your 1st time aye?
i've had many of those nights where i HAVE to write out my thoughts on paper in order to sleep... i hope this made u sleep well after. =D
take care
-K.Z. |
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Re: My 1st Poem
(User Rating: 1 )
by crazy on
Thursday, 8th October 2009 @ 08:54:35 AM AEST
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"I'm tormented with dreams that keep me awake
ironically ill b asleep at my wake"
love this part.
you write rather well, for your first poem...
keep writing and it will be natural and just second nature to you.
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