|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
The Inevitable
Contributed by
Amarillys
on
Thursday, 24th September 2009 @ 07:37:29 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
Sometimes I am so sad
it seems pointless to cry
Effort overpowers the outcome
Everybody dies
Unrecognizable reflection staring at me
Can't reach that deep within
To find remnants of what I used to be
Or even remember where I've been
Blurry visions of someone great
Clearly lifeless young yet old
I wonder Could I have your autograph
Sadly it's the end of the show
Copyright ©
Amarillys
... [
2009-09-24 19:37:29]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: The Inevitable
(User Rating: 1 )
by SmokinJoeEvil on
Friday, 25th September 2009 @ 07:58:43 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
The use of the themes of life a death are used a bit clumsily here, in my opinion. With the last two lines of the first stanza, I would have taken the "outcome" to be referring to death, since the next line is "Everybody dies"... but what "Effort" is there that can over-power death?
And in the end, the term "lifeless" usually refers to something without life. Of course, the term "life" is used to denote more than just the condition of living... such as the condition within which someone is living (social standing or good-naturedness, for instance)... but here it just seems like the meaning is lost - almost as if you meant something else, like "timeless" - with the description of someone appearing "young yet old".
The third stanza also seems to diverge from the feelings presented in the first. The focus seems to shift to someone else entirely, and it isn't clear why there would be so much sadness and confusion, and whether or not the person brought up in the third stanza has anything to do with it or not. Unless it is supposed to be that the third stanza still does describe the same person - some sad, confused person behind a facade of greatness or something. But I don't really feel there is enough "glue" in this to hold that theory together. I guess I'm just saying I came away from the poem rather confused. |
|
|
Re: The Inevitable
(User Rating: 1 )
by AngelFox on
Friday, 25th September 2009 @ 09:02:43 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Beautifully written! We become nostalgic sometimes and go back those memories that we relate to. Remembering fragments of greatness and achievement is the theme here. It's a search for that great person inside. I cant wait till that person comes out!!! |
|
|
Re: The Inevitable
(User Rating: 1 )
by musicrox13 on
Friday, 25th September 2009 @ 04:10:40 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I loved it! you are a wicked awsome poet! :) |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
