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Why Did He Do It?
Contributed by
picklepuss
on
Tuesday, 15th September 2009 @ 08:44:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
Why Did He Do It?
Lord, why did he do it?
I’m probably not going to get an answer…that I could even begin
to accept this side of heaven.
My mind understands that my first born son chose
to end his life. But my heart still cries.
It cries for his pain that I could not stop.
It cries because he thought there was no other way
to end his pain.
Reasoning, I get. You and I have written about it –
but my mother heart still cries bitter tears for all the beautiful days he’s missing out on.
It cries for the college degree he will never have the chance to spread
his wings in the job market with or
the woman he could have met who would have loved and
understood and accepted him just the way he was.
And I shed tears for all the sweet grandchildren we will
never get to enjoy.
I look at his picture with his big grin –
and my heart breaks.
I see other brothers pummeling each other, obviously
acting like brothers –
and my heart breaks.
I pick up his billfold and finger every personal
piece of paper –
and my heart breaks.
I go to the cemetery to see the slab of marble with
his name on it –
and my heart breaks.
I hear of other suicide deaths on the news –
and my heart breaks for the loved ones left behind to pick up the pieces.
Lord, how can we blend together the business of every
day life with heartbreak?
Life is a mixture of pain and joy, suffering and comfort,
tragedy and peace.
How do we blend them together to make an emulsion when
they are opposites; like oil and water?
That is where You come in, isn’t it?
You are the “Glue” that holds us together in the midst of our
times of joy and trouble.
Lord, I can guarantee that there will be more sadness and tears,
but with Your huge arms wrapped around me
we can walk this journey together and when it ends,
It will be all joy and no more tears.
You’ve promised.
“He will wipe all tears from their eyes, and there will be no more death, suffering, crying, or pain. These things of the past are gone forever.”
Revelation 21:4, CEV
Copyright ©
picklepuss
... [
2009-09-15 20:44:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Why Did He Do It?
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 15th September 2009 @ 09:34:16 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I can only imagene your heart wrenching pain.
I'm so sory for your loss.
These writings are remarkable. In your own pain and comfort from from God, Your writings no doubt, will bring comfort
to others that may be going thru simulair pain and loss.
Big huggs, luv, prayer, peace, joyu,
emy |
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