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The Startling Tale Of A Preoccupied Tavern
Contributed by
AnthonyGoodwinJnr
on
Tuesday, 15th September 2009 @ 08:18:18 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Black hole ballroom have you any ghosts,
Some say yes sir, the spirits of the hosts.
One of the lady and many more inside,
And one of the simple boy who died beside his bride.
Young Jack hanging, swinging on a rope
Some say murder, but maybe he lost hope.
Etched on a window, a message from the grave,
Written and intended for the souls you couldn’t save.
Young boy, wet boy, running through the dark,
Had you then been swimming in the park.
Or was it just the rain that wet your little head,
And did you struggle hard when meeting with the dead.
In the coldness of a bedroom
Lies the oppressive weight of doom.
Death for the unknown, for they that passed this way
Leaving only memories for those alive today.
Coach house chamber maid will never see tomorrow,
Tortured soul wallowing in sorro,
The reason for her death fills her full of anger,
To those who use her service she remains so bitter.
Phantoms haunt showing no repentance,
Fear for you with credit card acceptance.
Once more a guest can feel the silent guilt
Of the spectre of the murderer for those whose blood he spilt.
Midnight darkness is the time for haunting
Few have seen the spirits so disturbing.
Demons on the landings the screaming of a ghoul,
The maliciousness recurring can often be so cruel.
Black hole ballroom have you no remorse
I say no sir; you are the centre and the source
Many more that pass this way will see the apparitions
It’s up to us who live here now to keep up the traditions.
Shadowlike beings continue with their torture
Innocent and guiltless are they that have to suffer,
They have no regard for the lives that they torment ,
Pitiful and twisted the lost ones stay hell bent.
So grey lady are you a Mrs or a Miss
Are you tortured as you drift in the abyss?
The phantoms of the stillborn will come to join you soon,
As sure as death becomes us like the phases of the moon.
Copyright ©
AnthonyGoodwinJnr
... [
2009-09-15 08:18:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Startling Tale Of A Preoccupied Tavern
(User Rating: 1 )
by TsunamiWaverider on
Tuesday, 15th September 2009 @ 09:06:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Damn it. Your poem was/is good, but it could have been so much more had you not lost the cadence...the rhythm...the beat of it by failing to make key words rhyme.
1st verse: Ghosts/Hosts - Inside/Bride - Rope/Hope - Grave/Save. (PERFECT).
2nd verse: Ditto (PERFECT)
3rd verse: Tomorrow/Sorrow - ANGER/BITTER - REPENTENCE/ACCEPTANCE - Guilt/Spilt.
4th verse: HAUNTING/DISTURBING - Ghoul/Cruel - Remorse/Source - Apparitions/Traditions.
5th verse: TORTURE/SUFFER - Torment/Hell Bent - Miss/Abyss - Soon/Moon.
Don't sacrifice quality! |
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Re: The Startling Tale Of A Preoccupied Tavern
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 15th September 2009 @ 11:32:50 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Your poem is very creative and you are talented the 1st two stanzas awsome
But It seems like you rushed the last three
stanzas which alot of poets do myself included. great poem all in all and hope to read more of your work
welcome to the site |
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Re: The Startling Tale Of A Preoccupied Tavern
(User Rating: 1 )
by spud on
Tuesday, 15th September 2009 @ 11:33:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Hi there,
Would you credit it! I once went to a wedding
reception held at the George in Bewdley - many
many moons ago. Didn't have the dubious
pleasure of staying the night (probably because
I didn't get lucky) but seem to recall stories being
bandied around before I arrived there.
Small world!
Like your poem!
Tommy
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