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Do you remember me?
Contributed by
youngpoet1989
on
Monday, 31st March 2003 @ 09:16:21 AM in AEST
Topic:
FriendshipPoetry
|
Do you remember me?
Do remember the times we had,
Seven years has past us by,
The times that were a blast,
Looking at the clock seeing how time flies.
Thinkin of you,
Knowing your not here,
Don't know what to do,
You've been gone for so many years.
At the age of twelve,in the seventh grade,
The memories of you began to fade,
As I was walking,you were beside me,
You turned and said do in know you,
Then I knew it was you.
Do you remember me?
Copyright ©
youngpoet1989
... [
2003-03-31 09:16:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Do you remember me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by banjo on
Thursday, 17th April 2003 @ 01:20:21 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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GRAMMAR! Bad grammar distracts from the message of a poem. It's like having your zipper down.
l.1 should (probably) be "do YOU remember"
l.2 have not has
l.6 thinkinG - unless this is a country song.
l.7 you're not your
l.13 do I know you
i get lost at the end. do I know you then I knew it was you? What is happening here? |
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Re: Do you remember me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by youngpoet1989 on
Saturday, 19th April 2003 @ 12:17:46 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| And it's like you sewing that zip to your mouth! |
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