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Black
Contributed by
karoody
on
Sunday, 30th March 2003 @ 12:35:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
nothing's the same
now that you're gone
i can't concentrate
never sleep
always cry
my heart is aching
my soul shaking
all i can feel
cold
pain
anger
why did you have to go
you did as you were told
ate your vegetables
didn't smoke
didn't drink
but your stomach ached
you lost weight
the doctors said said cancer
and my heart broke
days went by
and they sighed
said there's nothing to do
time stood still
until that fateful day
when the phone call came
my body went numb
as i fell to the floor
my mind went black
the world left it's orbit
and you were gone
along with my smile
so i just sit here
thinking i've died
Copyright ©
karoody
... [
2003-03-30 12:35:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Black
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on
Sunday, 30th March 2003 @ 03:48:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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very sad, your sense of loss so evident,, but with love they are always with you
Sharon |
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Re: Black
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fudge on
Sunday, 30th March 2003 @ 05:23:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| a very sad but good poem. i like how you wrote it, straight to the point, simple yet effective. |
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Re: Black
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 30th March 2003 @ 09:55:19 PM AEST
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| (((((Kara))))) |
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Re: Black
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Monday, 31st March 2003 @ 02:36:06 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| acquiring maturity of poetic expression with good images.. well done.. venkat |
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Re: Black
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 31st March 2003 @ 05:43:39 AM AEST
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Losing someone close can be so painful. I know how you feel. The way you have expressed your emotions in heart warming. Great poem!!
sleepless_siren |
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Re: Black
(User Rating: 1 )
by Feelin_Like_A_SadFellow on
Monday, 31st March 2003 @ 01:14:20 PM AEST
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| i mourn with you in your lost the flow of the words seems to come naturally from your hand |
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Re: Black
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Tuesday, 1st April 2003 @ 10:06:02 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Well written, Kara.. your pain is so evident...
Hugs
Jenni |
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