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cynical me
Contributed by
absent
on
Thursday, 13th August 2009 @ 01:19:01 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
I sit in silence, talking with my ghost, dwelling on memories past. It's easier to hide behind the masquerade, it's easier to blame the pain instead of myself, no thought about the consequences. To exist beyond this mortal plane, unfettered by the chains of reality. Disconnect from everything but my cynicism, wondering what's on the mind of the world but also so very sure that it wants to destroy me.
Don't believe the masquerade, don't believe the dark. Is this all I have to give? You're my outlet, my escape from the dead star. I feel like silence incarnated, always wanting to speak but never having anything to say. I open my mouth to regain control but apart of me remains insecure. But you hold me and at last I feel that every step i've taken is pure.
The way I see you, frozen in time, perfect for this fleeting moment we call life. The angel on my shoulder, calling me to repent, calling me to leave the comfort of the masquerade behind. I'm stuck, in the slow motion freefall, but on your wings I have an out, I borrow your strength to rise again. You purified the infection, and pooling blood that i've come to know has dried up, leaving behind only a stain to be forgotten in the wake of these feelings.
Don't believe the masquerade, don't believe the dark. These are words that i've brought myself to speak. These are the words that i've brought myself to know. I ask myself, should I expect anyone to see past the cynical me? The cynical me says no. I ask myself, should I expect anyone to glimpse the little part of me that wants to be saved? The part of me that wants to be saved... Is reaching through the dark, searching for your hand.
Copyright ©
absent
... [
2009-08-13 13:19:01]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: cynical me
(User Rating: 1 )
by orphani on
Thursday, 13th August 2009 @ 03:17:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
you have the basis of a good poem here.
deep and penetrating
but you need to shake off unnecessary words to distill your thoughts down to their
essentials.every word you don't need take out.i love the meat and bones of this.
trim the fat and it's worth buying.
o
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Re: cynical me
(User Rating: 1 )
by RyhmeNotReason on
Thursday, 13th August 2009 @ 11:06:51 PM AEST
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| I really really felt the emotion and desperation behind this piece. I agree that you could try and "distill" the writing a bit, but deffinitely not to the detriment of the desperation and vulnerability of it. |
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