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Photograph Watching
Contributed by
Inevitable
on
Monday, 29th June 2009 @ 07:12:43 PM in AEST
Topic:
ambiguous
|
Sitting on a rock a thousand miles
away she runs to the wind unaware of
all the truth left exposed in her bare skin for
all to see while she's fleeing his sight in the night
of the lust all corrupt and unclean to be titled
as filth, as inevitable sin each layer a cut
marked deep in her skin when the time comes
to break to lay down and just cry he'll be
waiting with arms sober and I will be
sitting on a rock a thousand miles away
with a photograph watching her bleed her
life away...
Copyright ©
Inevitable
... [
2009-06-29 19:12:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Photograph Watching
(User Rating: 1 )
by lesoleilnoire on
Monday, 29th June 2009 @ 09:06:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very interesting write. It got me thinking! I like this format used. It is like nothing I've seen before. Nice job! |
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Re: Photograph Watching
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 30th June 2009 @ 04:46:01 AM AEST
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Well the structure allowed it to flow impeccabally, without interruprtion. The imagery was very vivid (as usual) and it was all rather lovely. I enjoy seeing a bit of experimentation every now and again:)
-Phil |
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Re: Photograph Watching
(User Rating: 1 )
by smith2267 on
Tuesday, 30th June 2009 @ 08:39:22 AM AEST
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a Message)
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people near hysteria talk like this sometimes, in one huge run on sentence...which fits the poem perfectly! If I read it right, it's about a woman fleeing an abusive realtionship---who would quite likely be near hysteria, and talking this way.
Good job. |
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