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The Experiment (Not the full title...)
Contributed by
tkaned
on
Friday, 28th March 2003 @ 09:35:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
A paradox or a parable to a system of a generic spiral movement towards a shallow grave at the bottom of Vanity’s Hill.
Past the towers of nevereverland,
Into a mouth of darkness that engulfs one into a dark parable of nothingness.
Trapped in this empty vast world,
And scratching at the walls of nothing,
It desperately tries to be released.
Others sit in nothing,
Un-moving,
Staring blankly into nothing.
Thousands of them,
Millions,
Billions of them,
More and more arriving all the time,
Every bloody second.
Each looked the same,
Wrapped in the nakedness called conformity.
Only one trying to escape,
Screaming at nothing,
But nether less still trapped.
Suddenly the walls close in,
Tighter and tighter,
Squeezing the vacant nobodies closer and closer together.
The one screams louder,
But the walls close together.
Nothing is compressed into nothing,
But yet it still tries to escape,
Screaming louder,
The pain unbearable,
Until it explodes under the pressure of its rage in a moment of passion,
Which in turn destroys the nothingness,
Sending it falling into nothing,
Constantly falling.
But its not falling,
Not really,
Its falling.
The vacant stay behind in the same position,
Not moving,
Yet they watch in the corner of their eyes.
It continues to fall into nothing,
Nothing swallowing him into further more nothing.
It’s own revolution causes it to fall.
The experiment is over for this particular it,
It is destroyed to prevent contamination with the others.
Yet they do not realize that it has spread its passion and rage.
The experiment has already failed.
Copyright ©
tkaned
... [
2003-03-28 09:35:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Experiment (Not the full title...)
(User Rating: 1 )
by SmokinJoeEvil on
Friday, 28th March 2003 @ 10:08:24 AM AEST
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a Message)
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A few reasons I don't feel I can FULLY understand this poem:
- I don't understand the context in which you are using the word "parable". I don't believe it was ever intended to be used as you are attempting to use it.
- The phrase "nether less" does not exist as far as I know... in fact I do not think it exists as far as anyone knows. Perhaps you meant "never the less"?
Otherwise I got the main gist of the poem without trouble. Thanks. |
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Re: The Experiment (Not the full title...)
(User Rating: 1 )
by tkaned on
Saturday, 29th March 2003 @ 07:42:10 AM AEST
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I'm from holland, so my english is not so good, but you can use english better to write good poems, but thnx neway, parable means a fable, a story or a tale, so i guess i didnt use that in the right context, but i just used that word for the title, which i mistyped on puttin this poem onto the net, it should read "A parable of a system of a generic spiral movement towards a shallow grave at the bottom of Vanity’s Hill."
So i pefer the title "The Experiment", so soz about that! |
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