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Apocalyptic Vision
Contributed by
adsalamon
on
Friday, 28th March 2003 @ 05:05:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
These images flash before my very eyes
When days were long, joyful and free
When we used to spot shapes clouding the skies
Used to run round merrily, climb every tree
We didnt care what the future would bring
We just lived for the day, smile, sing
If only we could go back, relive just one day
We could be all together, love and be happy
Just take a breather, remeber how we used to play
Though how hard we try, it will never be
Now its all grey, dull and overcast
I just wish those days would forever last
These fresh images fall in to my eyes
A reign of darkness, hurt and despair
No one can stop it, noone ever tries
We're all doomed together now, who now gives a care
I can see the future, all burning, all fire
This world we now, the funeral pyre
So come now and give a cheery grin
We might as well go out on a positive vibe
We're ruined, lost it, commited all sin
Savages, vanquished, like an ancient tribe
I look to the sky, oh how we can be proud
Only one shape now, the big mushroom cloud
Copyright ©
adsalamon
... [
2003-03-28 05:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Apocalyptic Vision
(User Rating: 1 )
by banjo on
Thursday, 17th April 2003 @ 01:25:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
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good work on sticking with a rhyme scheme and meter. everyone wants to write poems that rhyme, but few can. most shouldn't try. I, for one, can't. But you do pretty well.
The meter stumbles occasionally but is pretty solid. A lot more solid than most poems I read on this site.
keep working on it -- it has a chance at being a polished poem. Good work and keep writing. |
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Re: Apocalyptic Vision
(User Rating: 1 )
by norm on
Friday, 20th June 2003 @ 01:14:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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you and your poems are assets
------------------------------------------
The time of a rhyme, is a rhyme of the time,
It's not what is said, go sit on a dime..
It need not make sense, may even be dense
For Brits, a dime does become just 10 pence |
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