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Anybody version 1
Contributed by
SuicidalSon
on
Friday, 28th March 2003 @ 02:25:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
Is anybody out there
or am I all alone
Does anybody even care
about the scars I've shown
Does anybody ever hear
the cries for help I moan
Would anybody shed a tear
after my brains I've blown
Does anybody feel the same
the same way that I do
Does anybody hate this game
life is worse than clue
Would anybody take the blame
if you were to kill you
Would anybody feel ashamed
if my suicide should come true
Is anybody here to stop me
from self inflicted pain
Would anybody like to see
me blowing out my brain
Would anybody like to be
just as freaking insane
Could anybody be as free
as a man without a name
Is anybody listening
to this here near dead man
Anybody see the glistening
of the blood running down my hand
Anybody feel the blistering
of the fire in which I stand
Will anybody see the christening
of my last day on land
If anyone can hear me
please just go away
If anyone can see me
please just look away
If anyone should find me
please just leave me lay
If anyone should stop me
I'll try another day
Is anybody out there
or am I all alone
Would anybody like to share
a story of their own
About a life that is so bare
that they just want to go
Is anybody out there
or are we all alone
Copyright ©
SuicidalSon
... [
2003-03-28 02:25:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Anybody version 1
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 28th March 2003 @ 10:59:38 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This reads a little bit as though you have written it just so that it rhymes rather than going for the real feel of the work. It doesn't really flow and there are lines that don't seem to fit with anything. Just my opinion though!!
sleepless_siren |
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Re: Anybody version 1
(User Rating: 1 )
by SuicidalSon on
Friday, 28th March 2003 @ 12:25:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I would really like to know exactly what you are talking about I can explain every word and how it fits and you must have never felt that way but trust me in the end you are simply alone |
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Re: Anybody version 1
(User Rating: 1 )
by hardcoreputa on
Friday, 28th March 2003 @ 10:58:30 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i disagree with the above comment i think the ryming adds to the poem especially because it gives it the extra flow. anyways its a good write i really know how u feel... i think there are different levels of suicidal people, most people never get to this level because of whatever reason, but it seems really deep, even if other people dont get it. |
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