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love from my brother
Contributed by
kailyn
on
Saturday, 23rd May 2009 @ 09:21:27 PM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
You always said that it was meant to be
Even though I hurt you, why was it hard to see?
You deserved better and its time thatchu know it
You’re indescribable words could never show it.
The pain I feel is to deep inside
I can’t escape it though I’ve tried
He says “ I love you”, I’ll wipe the tears
Yet he’s the reason that I cry
I see his face here and there
She says it hurts, he replies “life’s not fair.”
Is there a god? Or such thing as faith?
It’s hard to believe when you’re a victim of rape
Ever since that night she’s been so lost and been confused
Nothings changed its just old news
All that happens is hard to endure
But he don’t care, he just goes back to get some more
She don’t know how to love, only how to fight
It eats her in the day and tortures her at night
She’s afraid of her self; it’s more than a phase
He takes all her love and puts her in a cage
So now feel her fury, feel her rage
She hopes he’s happy cause she’s addicted to the pain
Don’t get her wrong she still loves him to this day
But its cause she don’t know how to live any other way
This is ME…
As I sit in this four cornered room
My energy is drained, my emotions consumed
I know you’re not giving up anytime soon
Its like you replaces the sun with a black moon
Cause all I see is dark, you stole all my light
I can’t think straight; I’m scared to sleep at night
So tell me is it worth a fight?
Even if I tell, it’ll never go right
But back to my question is it worth a fight?
I don’t know but I have paid up the price
I’m just glad I’m not scared of heights
Cause you clipped my wings in the middle of my flight
So now I’m falling, falling, falling outta sight
And for some reason your torture is the only thing that can save my life
I’ve been broken, I’ve been shattered
By all the things you take for granted
In exchange for all that matters
I don’t say this for the fun or for the thrill
All the dreams you wont fulfill
Due to your fear and lack of will
I will give you words to quote
I’ve been places thatchu wont
I’ll give you the light and give you hope
I’ll tell you the things that they don’t
The world is awful and the people are even worse
My brother is sick; he’s the devils curse
Tell on him, tell on him that’s what they all say
But instead of fast-forward or stop I continue to press play
I’ve been hit, I’ve been pushed I’ve been raped
Till our parents are sleeping he will always wait
He shuts the door, turns off the light
Asks, “How are you?” being too polite
Takes a towel to wrap my face
Starts attacking at a very painful pace
Its 4 in the morning, against time it’s a race
Shoves it down my throat and asks how it tastes
I scream so maybe he’ll get caught
Go to hell, sit there and ROT
But it never happens, he knows me much to well
This isn’t a simple game of show and tell
He makes me think I deserve what I get
He has to be the worse of them yet
He has to be the worst person I have ever met
Once again I can see and he looks me in the eyes
I’m holding back the tears so he won’t see me cry
Pats me on the head and says that he had fun
And I just sigh in relief that he’s finally done
But not for forever, just for the night
In my heart calling cops sounds alrite
Buts it’s not his fault, he’s mental in the head
I need him even if I wind up dead
For him I will never say, never tell a lie
I know he’s got problems but he’s a special guy
This is ME
I’m the little girl
Who was all so lost and hid in the world
Sympathize, love or hate me, you decide
This is my secret; I live it as my life
I’m tore up from the floor up its obvious to me
We’re in reality as crazy as it seems
What I write is to those in need
To those who dream, to one day be free
To those that mourn, and those that grieve
The above and in-between
I believe if we have a common goal
We CAN overcome all obstacles
I just want the world to know
From what I have nothing is impossible
He’s still here, doing what he does
Its his high, it’s his buzz
I know what I can handle and where I stand
What happens next will never be planned
But I’m prepared I’m very brave
Love, trust and care is what I crave
I’ll never get it, that’s what I get to live with
Not my fairytale strictly a myth
I love him, he doesn’t love me
THIS IS ME, one day he’ll see.
Copyright ©
kailyn
... [
2009-05-23 21:21:27] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: love from my brother
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Saturday, 23rd May 2009 @ 10:34:19 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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First let me say welcome to our global family here at YPDC.
I'm so sorry to know you've been put thru this.
I was molested by an uncle when I was too young to even know what was going on.
Years later he blew his own brains out 'cause was far from being the only one.
You're a good writer.
The only thing I can say is it's not your fault.
Also, If you need a friend the pm me as l'll be here for you.
luv, huggs, prayer,
emy |
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Re: love from my brother
(User Rating: 1 ) by thumper on
Saturday, 23rd May 2009 @ 10:55:34 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very heartwrenching read, a very painful write. I could feel your pain in every stanza. Pain, fear, hope. So confusing, yet so heartbreakingly real. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here along with so many others. Good write, and welcome to YPDC. A lot of us use this site to vent and come to terms with our lives. Hope to hear from you.
Huggs,
Thumper ;o) |
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