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~Sucking butts~
Contributed by
shelby
on
Sunday, 26th April 2009 @ 02:45:57 PM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
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It sounds really nasty if you say it,
I am addicted, oh yes.
I am a first class butt sucker,
not the two cheeked kind no!
Rather that of a cigarette.
Now years ago I started
and today I still haven't got it licked.
It would be nice to do it as easy
and the words spilling,"I quit".
It does not seem to happen that way.
If I stop cold turkey I get sick.
The horns grow off the top of my head
and I turn into a mean little witch.
I look at the benefits of not sucking
on those stinky dirty ol butts.
I know things would be much better
yet I am hooked and it is such a dirty trick.
I do well for a few hours
then that urge taps me on the head
and I start looking for just one more
then back I go to sucking on dirty ol butts.
Copyright ©
shelby
... [
2009-04-26 14:45:57] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: ~Sucking butts~
(User Rating: 1 ) by Matariel on
Sunday, 26th April 2009 @ 05:06:10 PM AEST (User
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Good poem, humerous, and true. I liked it. I like the word-imagery you use with the cigarette's butts (ew! Nasty imagery, but very appropriate for the nature of this poem!)
I only have one criticism, and a small one at that: spelling. A little spelling goes a long way, and can avoid confusion. For instance, "first class" and "two cheeked kind" can be be confusing in the sentences, as they've been dehyphenated. It should be "first-class" and "two-cheeked kind" as this is not only proper spelling, but also reads easier and avoids confusing the reader, as I was at first. "ol" should also be (as it is technically a contraction or shortening) " ol' ".
Anyway, good poem, make me laugh. Keep writing! :) |
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Re: ~Sucking butts~
(User Rating: 1 ) by venkat on
Sunday, 26th April 2009 @ 08:23:06 PM AEST (User
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hmmm..I smoke five cigarettes per day..well..I enjoyed its read.:-) venkat |
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Re: ~Sucking butts~
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Sunday, 26th April 2009 @ 08:37:29 PM AEST (User
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aw hunni. I know how difficult it is to kick a habit.
Especially when you are SO addicted. Rats!
Good luck with your quest for freedom
from sucking butts! haha
Good post sweets.
(Thanks for earlier *hugs you*)
~ Breezy
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Re: ~Sucking butts~
(User Rating: 1 ) by RyhmeNotReason on
Sunday, 26th April 2009 @ 09:18:57 PM AEST (User
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hehe... nice poem, i liked it..*lights another butt to suck on while reading the next poem* |
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Re: ~Sucking butts~
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 27th April 2009 @ 07:57:24 AM AEST (User
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Thanks for clearing that up, Michelle because when I first saw the title I cringed. :P
Anyway, lol... cute. :-)
I smoked on and off for years so I can relate butt what finally got me to quit (hopefully for good) are the images of what my sister went through before she died from cancer. That suffering and especially that black bile can be quite the persuasive deterrent.
Take care, Shall.
Tim |
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Re: ~Sucking butts~
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 28th April 2009 @ 06:34:05 AM AEST (User
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Howdy, Shelby,
A real timely catch of your work for me 'cause my wife, Marti and I are payin' our dues in health goin' south because of sucking butts. In our case they're butts of tobacco as we roll our own. Only thing I can pass on in my years o' earned wisdom (some say I ain't earned any!) is that always is the time to quit. Good capture in your poem of our dilemma as addicts. Now gotta go look fer more lightheartedness from ya.
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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Re: ~Sucking butts~
(User Rating: 1 ) by myheartsvoice on
Tuesday, 28th April 2009 @ 01:49:47 PM AEST (User
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Yeh i did wonder about the tittle shel,
but that's simply called " a brown noser "
which your anything " BUTT " ROTFL . . .
great artistry and portrayal, your a genius,
thanks 4 the insperation, your more than
a true blue friend, your a real " BUTTY "
ROTFL . . .
((((((((Michele))))))))
btw ty likewise 4 your read,
and no apology needed . . .
Ben . . . |
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Re: ~Sucking butts~
(User Rating: 1 ) by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Wednesday, 29th April 2009 @ 04:38:01 PM AEST (User
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I bet every single person who saw the title thought "hmm, surely this isnt about......." then decided to read it just to see.
However, what follows is a truly entertaining and funny read.........its nice to read something that makes you smile once in a while !! (oh no, don't tell anyone I occasionally rhyme !!)
Steve |
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Re: ~Sucking butts~
(User Rating: 1 ) by Elipsis on
Wednesday, 20th May 2009 @ 12:47:42 AM AEST (User
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I must be abnormal! I scanned through all your poems and saw this title, thinking : Oh, wow... Someone with a different point of view on my lil habit... I must say, wasnt dissapointed at all!
This is a great read... makes me feel like you've put a bit of humour into it... But still kept it serious enough to carry a message... Good writting!! |
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Re: ~Sucking butts~
(User Rating: 1 ) by jesusofholland on
Monday, 1st June 2009 @ 07:09:36 PM AEST (User
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This one really made me smile! I don't read enough of your humorous poems, but they always leave me in a better mood than before I read them. I too wish I never started smoking. The title is brilliant. I guessed what it was about before reading, but secretly hoped for the other meaning, hehe. Well done as always.
Ryan |
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