|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Aving it large!! - hyper night
Contributed by
thezenmonkey
on
Saturday, 25th April 2009 @ 04:21:20 AM in AEST
Topic:
drugabuse
|
Smoke weed, take speed, drink absinth, give a girl a wink, don’t think, mix your drink, green out and be sick – do it all in the time it takes to blink – fall asleep – deep – don’t follow the crowd like a sheep, wake up in a messed up heap, meet and greet, wine and dine, take your time – I don’t care what I wear, wear and tear, now and then, yet again, separate the boys from the men, Zen – take a look, write a book, get hungry and cook, eat your dinner, out the window see a minger, ginger, up goes the middle finger, lurk about and linger, deep thinker – sniff a line, feel sublime, commit a crime, feeling fine, at home, all alone, look after your own, answer the phone, talk, take a walk, then back to your gaff, in a street full of chavs – getting to hot, take off your top, spill a drink, go get the mop - see me I’m going to the top!
A story of a boy who couldn’t stop!
Copyright ©
thezenmonkey
... [
2009-04-25 04:21:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Aving it large!! - hyper night
(User Rating: 1 )
by juricajo on
Saturday, 25th April 2009 @ 06:56:53 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
liked this poem, you should set it out differentley ie: smoke weed, take speed
drink absinth, give a girl a wink
dont think
mix your drink.......
and so on. |
|
|
Re: Aving it large!! - hyper night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Matariel on
Saturday, 25th April 2009 @ 06:03:12 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Okay, some constructive criticism. I have no idea what "aving" means, and I don't really understand the title. Also, I didn't like the paragraph form instead of separating it into separate lines. I felt it lost some of its poetical effect because of this.
I did like the attitude it projected, similar to the attitude I used in my poem, I'm not a Hero (I'm a Hellion). |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
