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My hearts out of tune
Contributed by
Voice of the Silent
on
Sunday, 19th April 2009 @ 05:28:06 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
My hearts out of tune
It has been for many moons
When something pulls at the strings of my heart
I almost fall apart
When something should tug at my emotions
My heart sings out of key
I don’t really know if anything’s wrong with me
There’s commotion in life
But that doesn’t change the fact
About how I act
I don’t know if my strings are to tight
Or if anything’s wrong with me or if all is right
My heart never seems to hit the right key
Something should be wrong but it doesn’t bother me
I think now that I’ve spoken
It’s clear the strings in my heart are just broken
Never to strum to let me feel
Always been unplayable for many moons
I want my emotions to come and be real
I want some one to fix my heart
because when it plays it is out of tune
Copyright ©
Voice of the Silent
... [
2009-04-19 17:28:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My hearts out of tune
(User Rating: 1 )
by Matariel on
Sunday, 19th April 2009 @ 06:00:03 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Bravo, good poem! It has a genuine sound to it, and I enjoyed it. If you don't mind, in my humble opinion, the second stanza's rhyme scheme was a bit confusing. I think if you had stuck with ABAB it would've been better. Other than that, it was awsome. |
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Re: My hearts out of tune
(User Rating: 1 )
by 3660Days on
Sunday, 19th April 2009 @ 06:40:44 PM AEST
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| I really like the imagery in this one. |
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Re: My hearts out of tune
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 20th April 2009 @ 04:04:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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a nice write.
-phil |
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