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Lake of tears
Contributed by
bubble
on
Saturday, 18th April 2009 @ 11:28:55 AM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
Lake of tears reflect my pain
For I've cried for months in vain.
No light have my eyes seen
I only contemplate it in my dreams.
Peace by peace my soul is ripped
Every day, every hour, every minute.
I await the darkened night
For it holds my tiny soul tight
And it heals me from the pain
Only to be torn again.
And it took just two things,
For me to grow beautiful wings:
A tear dop on my face
And the lake's strong embrace.
Copyright ©
bubble
... [
2009-04-18 11:28:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lake of tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by kye on
Saturday, 18th April 2009 @ 02:17:50 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I like the concept of your poem and thought it had potential for more stanzas.
The feel I got from your poem was that in your tears you found comfort.
I liked it.
Kie |
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Re: Lake of tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by Loende on
Saturday, 18th April 2009 @ 10:40:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I agree with Kye that you have a really good start here...plenty to work with that is really quite good. I would suggest though, that you double check your spelling and word usage. It has a nice style to it though, so please keep writing!
Be well,
~Loende |
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