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Little River
Contributed by
countrydoc1015
on
Sunday, 12th April 2009 @ 11:50:02 PM in AEST
Topic:
NaturePoetry
|
Why hurry little river?
Off to the sea
All there to do, tis' sink in blue
And all forgotten be
Stay right here with me
In the pasture and the mead
Where graceful maples rest
And grazing cattle feed
O' my melacholy river
Fed by lazy, winding streams
Slow down thy hurried pace
Linger in my woodland dreams
Little river rest awhile
Your banks so clean and fair
Let wild Toms edge out a drink
On their wing and prayer
Your weeping willows haven
Bluebirds sleeping in their nest
Brittle branches sway and swerve
Steadfast they stand the test
My little river that goes to and fro
You wander as if a need to know
In Southern air, facing snow's embrace
Run fast or slow, you've won the race
So, why hurry little river?
Trickling off to ocean's sea
All to do, forget the blue
And stay right here with me
Copyright ©
countrydoc1015
... [
2009-04-12 23:50:02]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Little River
(User Rating: 1 )
by 3660Days on
Monday, 13th April 2009 @ 11:07:00 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Some rhymes felt "forced" and some lines felt choppy, I like the concept, and stanza 2 is fairly good. Some parts felt repetative. I think you could prune this a little and have something really usable. |
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Re: Little River
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Monday, 13th April 2009 @ 06:11:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I enjoyed this very much. I loved the concept....
Jenni |
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Re: Little River
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 14th April 2009 @ 07:15:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I love the imagery of your poem and can feel your deep sense of place. |
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