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The New Dawn Is Setting
Contributed by
ravensofthedark
on
Sunday, 12th April 2009 @ 08:46:44 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
My option running low,
Perpetual apathy tries to mask it,
But I’m sick of putting on this little show,
Yet, I’m afraid of my emotion being relit,
I don’t believe in love, nor do you,
So why must we be miserable too?
You’re full of conflict, with little forgiveness,
But I see you for what you are,
And I know it’s not bliss,
But you aren’t far,
Just forgive yourself and you’ll then see,
One day you’ll be free,
Coping with the pain is like drinking,
Better to drink with somebody than to drink alone,
I’d rather know your motives, not what you’re thinking,
Why not trust in me, because I know what you feel, this I’ve shown,
It feels like a dark silence, sometimes it’s what I really hate,
But for you, here do I wait.
Copyright ©
ravensofthedark
... [
2009-04-12 20:46:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The New Dawn Is Setting
(User Rating: 1 )
by The_Phantom on
Sunday, 12th April 2009 @ 09:21:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Nice write, I feel a stuggle deep inside here, well done.
The Phantom |
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Re: The New Dawn Is Setting
(User Rating: 1 )
by 3660Days on
Monday, 13th April 2009 @ 02:52:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I like the ABABCC rhyme scheme, it would have been even better if the lines hadn't felt so "choppy". Some of the rhymes felt forced. Hope to read more soon. |
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Re: The New Dawn Is Setting
(User Rating: 1 )
by fredmonte101 on
Saturday, 14th June 2014 @ 01:40:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Although we are all entitled to our opinions and this is well written. I find that my opinion is different then yours for to me Love is the greatest of all. That is Godly Love which is far above all else. So to look at the world it would be easy to form your opinion but I look at who created the World and find Love. |
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