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cold, bare floor
Contributed by
n2dep2care
on
Wednesday, 1st April 2009 @ 01:12:52 AM in AEST
Topic:
SecretLove
|
I confided to you that I wanted to save myself for the person with whom I fell in love.
“Who would care?” Came your laughed, impetuous response.
Not realizing I was saying that you would be one for whom I would save myself.
The rejection cut deep and the lava that I had reserved flowed out of me and onto the cold, bare floor.
Copyright ©
n2dep2care
... [
2009-04-01 01:12:52]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: cold, bare floor
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 1st April 2009 @ 03:31:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I hear ya.
Great work.
huggs, blessings,
emy |
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Re: cold, bare floor
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 1st April 2009 @ 06:13:36 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| The use of "lava" seems kind of off compared to how literal the rest of the prose is. Also, it's prose. Otherwise well written. |
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Re: cold, bare floor
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 1st April 2009 @ 12:17:41 PM AEST
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great work once again. keep it up!
-phil |
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Re: cold, bare floor
(User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on
Wednesday, 1st April 2009 @ 02:52:41 PM AEST
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| EXCELLENT |
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