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History
Contributed by
Loende
on
Tuesday, 24th March 2009 @ 06:07:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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God, I’m just so tired of trying so hard.
Trying to hold it all together.
A tilted house of cards caught in a typhoon,
held together with nothing more than ribbons and glue.
I remember the good old days,
when I had nothing but held everything in my hands.
There was a sense of knowing, acceptance and self,
that gave a meaning to all the days that passed before us.
Does it haunt you like it haunts me?
At the darkest part of night, it fills my dreams,
with Technicolor images that dance behind my eyes,
until I wake in tears, alone and worthless.
Then there’s nothing but the dark.
I don’t think that I would mourn the loss so much,
had it not been everything I had ever wanted and more.
Nor would I feel this heavy in my heart,
had I not given myself so fully to it all.
So I’m left here waiting and wondering,
if it was worth all the effort, all of the pain, then and now.
Waiting and wondering if I’m doomed to repeat a history,
that haunts me to this very day, this very hour.
And will it break me forever, if I do?
I don’t want what it was, I want what it was and more.
But I want to know if it was as real as I thought.
If it was everything that I saw it for.
I want to know if it was you, or it was me.
If it was me, then shame on me for strangling it.
And if it was you, shame on you for giving it up.
You might not have made me what I was,
But I know that it made me better than I am now.
Now we’re both left going through the motions,
To keep the relative peace between them and us.
Fooling everyone around, even ourselves most days.
Just shadows that dance in the night.
Go on, keep acting, but it’ll never be as real as it was.
Copyright ©
Loende
... [
2009-03-24 18:07:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: History
(User Rating: 1 )
by kye on
Tuesday, 24th March 2009 @ 07:43:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Your poem was so moving and I felt like I was viewing a very personal moment. If I could hug you right now I would. Mean that.
You (as a poetess) have a way of word expression that never ages and the whole of what you write about is very full. There is so much good inside of you--I see you as a person that everyone in the world would be fortunate to know.
You have truly touched my heart.
Kie- |
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Re: History
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 24th March 2009 @ 08:44:02 PM AEST
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I can so feel your pain with this emotive poem! And relating to it is so easy as so many of our lives do sometimes draw a parallel.
You express yourself very effectively and even though this is so sad, I am glad to see a new poem from you.
Oh, and what Kie said, "I see you as a person that everyone in the world would be fortunate to know. " I agree 100%.
Tim
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Re: History
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 25th March 2009 @ 05:25:28 PM AEST
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brilliantly emotive, good work.
-phil |
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Re: History
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Thursday, 26th March 2009 @ 11:04:08 PM AEST
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I have read this twice when I have seen it on the main page...History is one of my favorite subjects. In this poem the word history occures here
"So I’m left here waiting and wondering,..if it was worth all the effort, all of the pain, then and now...Waiting and wondering if I’m doomed to repeat a history"..
I saw the eternal quest of a soul in your poem.. But when I read the conclusion..
"Fooling everyone around, even ourselves most days..Just shadows that dance in the night...Go on, keep acting, but it’ll never be as real as it was..."
at first I could not feel the seriousness of words..
I am really sorry, then I failed to realize the depth of your emotion..
After reading the comment of Kye I realized the true picture of your poem.
Now I have to repeat the comment of Kye only..
My friend! a man like me who enjoys the bliss of God some times fails to understand the world's reality.
Love and blessings. :-)venkat
..
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Re: History
(User Rating: 1 )
by 3660Days on
Wednesday, 8th April 2009 @ 07:45:11 PM AEST
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Two quick things -
1. I very much liked the one-line questions (and comment) spaced throughout. As in, that was a rather brilliant decision, it adds such another layer to this piece, almost like you are questioning yourself, or as if the reader is seeing both your words and your thoughts separately. Very nice, whatever the actual intention was.
2. I really liked the ending, how it was phrased.
Nicely done, keep it up! |
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