|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
if only words could mend
Contributed by
elle
on
Monday, 16th March 2009 @ 09:10:15 PM in AEST
Topic:
dedicatedpoems
|
to know is but the seed.
to understand, the forest, green. . .
watch as watch, you may.
see & sight, dismay.
call it what you will. . .
we are all searching, still.
the rightful & the wrong
a solitary throng.
if only words could mend
before the fractured end.
if only we could see
the forest, past the tree.
Copyright ©
elle
... [
2009-03-16 21:10:15] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: if only words could mend
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jenni_K on
Tuesday, 17th March 2009 @ 06:42:17 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Beautiful words, elle.....
"if only we could see
the forest, past the tree."
Jenni
|
|
|
Re: if only words could mend
(User Rating: 1 ) by Spike on
Tuesday, 17th March 2009 @ 07:02:12 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
hello elle,
interesting staccato rhythm (feels a lots like Frost - Nothing gold can stay), and the poignancy of the subject burrowed deep. Such a big hurdle, that 'if'. As a frequent user of end rhymes, I have to say in this post that perfect rhyming looks and sounds good, but I would have gone for a looser pairing: trees for see, may/dismayed, maybe, to break the conscious focus on the rhyme scheme. Just some comments, loved the poem.
Spike
|
|
|
Re: if only words could mend
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 17th March 2009 @ 01:04:11 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
beautiful writing, good work.
-phil |
|
|
|